ASD Awareness - Part 2

I haven’t always known, but I experience burnouts and shutdowns. When I was at college, me having a burnout looked like I was isolating myself. I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone, not even the staff. I would just sit there doing my work without talking. When it came to break time and lunch time, I would talk to people, but only on and off. I sat in the cafeteria because my friend liked to sit there to eat, but I really didn’t like it because it got so loud and crowded, it felt like all of my senses were on overdrive. It got slightly better with the unit and the main college having different lunch breaks, but still didn’t like it. When it got too much, I just put my head down and tried to block out as much noise and movement as possible. It was like I just shut off to the environment completely.

I have one really good friend who enjoyed being with lots of other people, and he encouraged me to join his circle of friends because I felt left out, and I am grateful that he wanted to include me but I felt like I couldn’t contribute to the conversations that they had. I liked spending time with him, and that’s why I kept going, but I never fitted in with those people. Being in these kinds of environments lead to burnouts and shutdowns for me. I got so overwhelmed at college for one reason or another and when I came home, sometimes I would have a meltdown. After the meltdown, I would sit quietly for a few minutes or hours.

Autistic meltdowns happen for a number of reasons. In my first year of college, I had a lot of meltdowns, mainly because of the major changes that were happening in my life. A meltdown is different for everyone, but for me, it comes across as anger or upset. During a meltdown, I tend to cry and shout. I have no idea why, but I guess it’s because I can’t get my feelings across.

No matter what the cause is, if someone has a meltdown, it doesn’t mean that they are behaving badly or inconsiderate, it just means that they’re dealing with something that are struggling to cope with and express. The same goes for if they shut down.

So, before judge someone, or who they’re with, think about what they might be dealing with. We may not be able to explain what’s going on, but you can offer support, so just ask us if you can help. Don’t shout at us. Don’t belittle us. Don’t stare at us. Don’t laugh at us. Just offer support.