I've always felt a little awkward when someone calls me "inspirational" or a "hero". It makes me feel un-easy. Yes, it is a lovely compliment, but am I really? I only live my life as an individual, raising awareness of various issues. Anyone can do that, right? I am never sure whether to accept these compliments, or say actually, I'm not because I'm just a human being, who is passionate about helping to change lives for the better.
The sad thing is that I bet that the reason why the majority of people say things like this to me is because they mainly see my Cerebral Palsy as struggles and I bet that they think that they "couldn't do it" if they were disabled... Em, yes they could. We all could if we absolutely had to! This is me - Yes, I have CP, and yes, it effects my daily life, but I live with it. I get all the ups and downs, and I do get depressed at times, but I live with it. Does that make me a "hero"? Absolutely not! I am just a twenty-something woman, trying to figure life out.
This is a difficult subject to talk about because on one hand, I don't want to be seen as a hero, but on the other hand, I don't want to be un-noticed. Ok, I blog about disability to raise awareness, and to give me something to do. Yes, some of the content I write may be inspirational to some people, I accept that, but some people say I'm a "hero" out of the blue. When someone says things like this, I don't know how to react. Do I accept the compliment, or do I say 'well, actually, I'm not a hero because...'? I appreciate the compliment, I really do, but it just feels wrong.
It is an extremely odd feeling, half of me is saying: "Ah, that's nice", and the other half doesn't want to accept it because it doesn't feel right. I'm torn between two options... If I accept it, do I really deserve to be called a "hero" or an "inspiration"? Or if I reject it, would people get annoyed and think that I'm ungrateful? I really don't know what to say or do.
In my eyes, being a hero involves being heroic (eg. helping or saving someone), and although I have helped a few people, I don't think that I have helped anyone to any great extent. I am not the best at accepting compliments anyway, but I definitely find it difficult to accept them when I think I don't deserve them. There are far more heroic people in this world than me. If I actually do something that is inspirational, and it warrants a pat on the back or something, then feel free to praise me for it, but other than that, please don't. It makes me feel extremely awkward.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to know if I've helped people in some way, but I don't view myself as heroic. I know you mean well, but please don't call me a "hero" just for the sake of it. As I said before, I'm only living my life as best as I can, and I'm trying to use the tools I am given. That's it.
Thanks for reading, and hopefully you've enjoyed reading it. Please let me know in the comments below.
See you next time.