Coping With Difficult Times

Hi everyone, today I want to talk about how I cope with challenging times.

Right, I am going through a lot of emotions at the moment, half of them I don't even know what they are, so bare with me, and sorry if I ramble...

As I write this, I am fighting back the tears, but I have to let it out... I have never known what it is like to lose someone who you're extremely close to before now. I had been dreading the day that the evil disease, Dementia would take my Grandad... It had been destroying him slowly, piece by piece, every day it would consume a little bit more of him! It was horrible knowing that one day my Grandad's time on this Earth would soon be over. That day came, Friday the 5th of January 2018. I have never gone through something like this before. I tried to prepare myself for it for months, I was acting like everything is fine, I thought I was going to be okay, but I realise now that you can't prepare for something like this.

A week without my Grandad... It feels like I've been punched in the stomach over and over again, I feel sick! It's like an overwhelming sadness I can't shift. Nothing helps for long, not even music, and that's saying something. Every day since the 5th, I have been putting my music up loud and singing along with it, to try and drown out my thoughts, but no matter how hard I try, I can't get them out of my mind! It's like mental torture!

I hope mum and I will be okay. My mum is one of the strongest people I know, and I am so proud of her for everything she is going through! I love her to the moon and back!

Literally, I don't even how to feel, I'm confused and feel isolated. I know I'm not really helping myself, but I don't know how, I haven't got the motivation that I used to have, I don't know why. Every day is a struggle, the best way I can explain it is that I feel numb and exhausted every day, but more sleep won't help me feel less tired.

If my Grandad was here, I know he would want me to carry on with my life, so that's what I am going to try and do.

Thank you for reading this, and I'll see you next time.

Bye for now.

R.I.P.

Robert Alan Bolton 1930 - 2018

The best Grandad ever.