Barriers to Communication: Part 3

This is the final part of Barriers to Communication, and in this part, I'm going to talk about tone of voice, along with a side topic... Tone of voice is a funny thing - I've never got the hang of it... By no means am I using my CP or suspected ASD as an excuse for any of the points made in these blog posts, but I also have real difficulties with tones of voice in two ways; I can’t always control mine, and I can’t tell the difference between different tones.

As you know from reading the previous parts of my Barriers to Communication posts, my CP affects every muscle in my body, including the muscles that nable me to talk, which means that my speech is not clear. As well as sounding like I’ve had two or three pints of beer, my voice can randomly change halfway through a sentence or I will start to say something, and I might sound really angry or nasty when I’m not angry or trying to be nasty.

Sometimes I struggle to grasp people’s intent when they say something to me, I can’t tell whether they are serious or not, even if I know them extremely well – I either have to ask for clarification or they let me know when they see me looking upset or perplexed. These problems have ended up with people getting upset or angry with me or I have misinterpreted what people have meant. To be honest, these are the things that I really hate about myself, along with the fact that I don’t know how to react in certain situations, but that’s just me…

Having said that, late last year, I decided to follow in P!nk's footsteps and stop trying to be someone I'm not. I published a post on Facebook after a dispute with one of my live-in carers about the way I am, and lost it. I was fairly polite compared to what I felt like saying, but I basically said that if she couldn't accept me for me, then that's her problem. Then there was silence... Shortly after this, I wrote the post, which says:

I've decided to try and stop caring what other people think about me... It's only making me depressed. If someone can't accept me for me, they don't deserve to be in my life...

"They can't tell you to change who you are"

If you don't know, that last quote is from P!nk's song "All I Know So Far".

I know that she's just a popstar to some, but words cannot describe how much I love Alicia More, better known as P!nk; I love her music and I love her as a person! She has helped me so much with her music, from old to new, I love every song... She is my idol, and I don't care what everyone thinks, she is just an incredible human being!

Not going into detail, but she has helped me mentally, physically and everything in between. Along with family, she has helped me to accept who I am and to remember to be my own person, even when others have a problem with me being me.

In November, 2023, tickets went on sale for the first UK tour she has done in years and I got up early to go online to try and get a wheelchair ticket, plus two carer's tickets when the sale was supposed to go live, only to find out that there was a queue even to get in to buy the tickets... I didn't know that it was run like this, but I sat in front of my computer for about an hour and a half watching the queue of people decrease one by one, having just one small hope, and my dad almost managed to get 3 and when there were only 2 left, Dad tried to nab those but they sold out too... I tried to remain composed throughout the day, but I will admit that broke. Yes, I cried... A lot, for several days afterwards.

I tried to get second-hand tickets on 20/12, but I'm incredibly upset that the person who tried to sell them to me looked like a fake, so I didn't go ahead with the transaction... Gutted is a massive understatement, especially knowing that I might have had a chance! If she went on tour in the UK every year, or even every few years, it wouldn't be so bad, but this is the first UK tour she has done in years! I know that I shouldn't be but I feel so disappointed you wouldn't believe it! I was just getting over the disappointment of losing the chance from the official sale, but this has made it worse, but at least I didn't waste my money. Next time, I am going to see her even if it kills me!

Phew, that was a bit more than I expected to write! When I get an idea in my head, there’s no stopping me… Anyway, thank you for sticking with me and reading all my ramblings! I have put a lot of effort into these three blog posts and I’m proud of it, so I really hope you have enjoyed reading them. See you soon!